so sad i forgot to cry

The best thing about western shirts is taking them off at the end of the day.

PS: I know they're falling out of fashion or whatever but whatever

or whatever
but whatever
or whatever
but whatever
or whatever
but whatever
or whatever
but whatever
or whatever
but whatever
or but or but or but or but or but or but or but

1) Self-consciously
2) Infrequently

Do you go num lock on or num lock off?

Me, I'm num lock on all the way.

One of my favourite parts of my job is when I compose an email, and then when I'm done I go through it again changing words like "will" and "would" to "might" and "should" and then add things like "I expect" and "I believe" to the beginning of sentences until the thing is nice and fuzzy and looks good from a distance but when viewed up close really doesn't convey anything.

For example:

A part of my job that I at times have enjoyed is when I compose an email, and, if completed, I tend to go through it again changing words like "will" and "would" to "might" and "should" and possibly add things like "I expect" and "I believe" to the beginning of sentences until I believe it would be considered nice and fuzzy and I expect would look good from a distance but when viewed up close really may not convey anything.

my love for you has just gone from 14/10 to 18/10.

so amazing

My boss just came in and gave me a superball that says "Windows Vista" and has some LED's in it that light up when you bounce it. Depending on whether you prefer the bouncing part or the looking for it part, this is either good or bad news.

that's some crazy shit

oh! and the best part about all this car towing business is that they totally ripped the surface off my street which had the fucking roughest shittiest asphalt I can think of and hopefully within a day or two it will be all smooth and riding my skateboard on my own street won't be such a chore.

btw, for anyone who cares about this shit, grenadier between roncesvalles and sorauren is billy dee williams smooth.

On the weekend someone went around and put a bunch of photocopied handwritten pieces of paper under the wipers of a bunch of cars on my street that said "NO PARKING July 10 - (something I forget) OR VEHICLE will be TOWED! CITY OF TORONTO", and the 'or' was underlined three times and keep in mind the whole thing was handwritten including the "City of Toronto" part. I saw this and thought fuck that, I'm not heeding that bullshit, it doesn't even thank me for my fucking cooperation! Then on Tuesday I saw my car wasn't where I left it and I was all ready to declare rushdie style fatwa on the next person I saw with a sharpie and a photocopier, but instead I saw a dude in a towtruck and I was like the name of that austin kutcher movie, and he was like one street over, i was like THANKS! and drove to work and had coffee instead of jihad.

Across the River and into the Trees by Ernest Hemingway is the greatest book about war and Italians since Corelli's Mandolin. It sorta makes you feel better about becoming old and bitter.

8/10

As you'll recall, 9 days ago I said I had a dream where I went back to my old highschool. Well, three days ago I walked past my old highschool and it reminded me of the time eleven years ago when, as a first year university student, I actually did go back there and gave a talk on life in university. But about twenty minutes before I gave this talk I had smoked a whole shitload of pot because that was how things were done there (our school motto was "who's got papers?"). Incidentally, a couple of months ago an article came out in the star about this school and how last year 55% of the student population had received suspensions. So anyway, I don't really remember anything I said in this talk, but I do remember that the class kept asking question after question, not because anyone gave a fuck about what I was saying, but because they knew that as long as I was talking, they wouldn't have to do any school bullshit. I also knew this and was trying as best I could to drag the thing out for the whole period for them. So don't anyone ever say I never gave back.

My chiropractic receptionist figured out there isn't an 's' on the end of my name.

Last night I slept like shit but I had this epic dream where I went back to my high school and taught some kid how to use a pencil sharpener and took some other kid to see the school nurse who I reamed out because she had no ice, no polysporin, and then admitted she wasn't even a real nurse, and then had gut-wrenching stage fright before addressing the student body at an assembly, and then went into recurring dream mode where I'm enrolled in this class, but I keep not showing up, but also not unenrolling and somehow my enrollment keeps getting carried over, and I've basically been fucking up this class for like 12 years. I'm not sure why I dream this last part over and over again, because I totally graduated high school and university and I'm pretty sure neither institution wants their diploma back. Maybe this dream is symbolic of the fact that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life and have a nagging feeling that I have another calling. But surely being hopelessly lost in one's own life but learning to suppress those feelings on a day-to-day basis isn't so serious an issue that your subconscious would need to work on it while dreaming, is it?

You know how 50% of people spell 'congratulations' 'congradulations', and how when they send you a card or an email or whatever that says 'congradulations' instead of thinking "that's nice" you think "Christ, what a moron"? I think if they are congratulating you on your graduation, you should give them the benefit of doubt and assume they're just making a really shitty pun. It's best not to be so hard on people all the time.