so sad i forgot to cry

2005
1997

dear the banana,

are you ripe?

i can't really tell.

meatball
n/a
n/a
turkey & ham
???

Tuesdays with Morrie
by Mitch Albom

USA Today called this book "[as] nourishing as fresh summer corn."

In an article entitled CORN, THE A-MAIZE-ING GRAIN, published on vegparadise.com, it states, "Sharecroppers in the 1930's who relied on corn for the staple in their diets found themselves the victims of pellagra, a disease that results from a niacin deficiency. Pellagra victims suffer from skin eruptions, digestive and nervous disturbances, and mental deterioration."

3.5/10

Thank you for visiting.

Have a great visit!

Regarding my previous post (or next post if you, as a reader of the english language, tend to read from top to bottom): I would like to apologize for having a male heterocentric world view (a male world gaze, if you will). Anything I said below about women I guess I sort of feel like I might know about men as well. There really was no need to bring gender into it.

MY BAD!!!

I don't know a whole lot about women, but I guess I sort of feel like I might know that there are some, god bless their souls, who love the dick and want it in their mouths, and some who maybe still love the dick or maybe they don't but either way they don't particularily want it in their mouths but are good sports and will have the dick in their mouths, and then I guess there are those who love the dick but won't have it in their mouths and those who don't love the dick and, common sensely, won't have it in their mouths. And just to be clear, I totally respect a woman's choice to not have the dick in her mouth whether or not she loves the dick; but for her sake I hope she doesn't love the dick because I don't see her getting any on a long term basis or if she does it's going to be the meek, dweeby dick that is happy to be ANYWHERE a la beggers and their ability to be choosers. Or maybe the woman loves the meek, dweeby dick but doesn't want in her mouth in which case she may find herself very happy. I hope she does, because I believe people should get to be happy, even those who love the meek, dweeby dick but not in their mouths.

But this post wasn't supposed to be about the dicks or about what I know about women. It is supposed to be about the banana and how it is like the dick. Not so much in the obvious way that it is long and tubular and spews semen when you rub it with just the right lubricated friction and comes in bunches. But more that it goes in your mouth, and some people love it in their mouth and some other people don't really want it in their mouth but are willing to put in their mouth because they think it is the right thing to do and because it, like the dick, is only 29 cents a pound.

Does anyone want to guess which group I fall into? (Hint: I've been going on about small bananas for weeks and it makes me want to barf.)

The People's Act of Love by James Meek

This book is not set on an island, but rather a continent. There isn't a whole lot of musical instruments, but there is a scene where a guy plays a guitar and it helps him have sex with a lady. Louis de Bernieres, author of Corelli's Mandolin, said it was the best book he had read in years.

8.5/10

more to say about bananas:

remember how eating smaller bananas is better? well, that was an idea i and ole kleenex headphone ears had about the same time but he articulated it first, and i'm told he just sold it to google for five hundred million dollars.

www.smallbananas.google.com

unrelatedly, we also had a conversation about cumshots (as a unit of measurement for fluids) and cock sauce (a flavourful liquid).

remember how in 1995 when you'd go the nightclub and meet the girl you're seeing and she had gone and dyed her hair red, but not some professional salon job but just some drugstore $5 thing that doesn't really make her hair red but just sort of vaguely reddish-brown, and you walk in into this dark, smokey (1995, remember) nightclub probably all high on weed and all colour blind and shit, and then the girl talks to you for ten minutes and then basically calls you an asshole for not noticing her ghetto dye job? I kind of now feel like she felt having moved my monitor at work six inches forward and having nobody even notice. It makes me want to be all bitchy at my coworkers and then go request KMFDM and then go flirt with their friends.

Apple. Obviously.

But here's a banana enjoying tip for you: buy smaller bananas. Smaller bananas means not eating as much banana which means hating them less which means liking them more!