Saturday, June 10, 2006
Capt. Corelli's Laser Knit Beanie
While not quite as good as sports, online poker has become an exciting part of my VERY EXCITING life. Since the beginning of December, I have accumulated just over 500 "Frequent Player Points" (FPPs) on the site I play on, which means I've wagered somewhere around $800 USD. These FPPs can be cashed in for merchandise with the site's logo on it. At 300 FPPs I could have cashed in for a stress ball or a stress star, but I wisely restrained myself and now have enough to get a knit beanie. Now a knit beanie with a poker website's logo on it would obviously be pretty fucking wicked, but do I go for it, or do I hold out for the duffle bag at 1000? Or maybe I should wait until 800 for a spaghetti strap tee -- maybe by that time there might be something more substantial going on with the lady I fancy and I could cement my feelings with a gift. It's all so overwhelming that it makes me wish that I'd gone for the stress ball. But of course, if I had, I wouldn't be stressing. Are you catching the 22ness of it all?
Speaking of Catch-22, if you ever decide to read that book, you might want to take a piece of paper and write an ordered list of all the military ranks and keep it in the book and constantly refer back to it a la the family tree in 100 Years of Solitude. If you're not a military nerd, Corporal, Captain, Colonel, Lieutenant and Lieutenant Colonel all kind of sound the same, but some of them are really different. I wasn't too up on that shit when I read that book, but now that I've seen the last half of Band of Brothers twice and have read of most of Corelli's Mandolin, I'm a modern day Sun Tzu. I could even tell you where a Major fits in.
One time I played Lazer Quest or whatever the fuck it's called for a girl's birthday party and at the end of the game some teenaged staff member calls out every player's self-selected nickname and that player had to come up and get his/her score card. My name was "MJR DORKUS" and she cracked up when she read it and I found that gratifying because as anyone who knows me well can tell you, I am constantly either going for laughs, or sulking. Those are my only two modes. As I recall, my score in that game of Laser Tag was pretty shitty because I had been betrayed by the lady in my life at the time. She had shot me in the back after assuring me that she had it (my back). Three months later that girl found herself dee-you-emm-pee-eee-dee'd. But it was over more serious shit than being shot in the back with a laser. And for the record, my score would have sucked anyway. I've never been good at that game.
Speaking of Catch-22, if you ever decide to read that book, you might want to take a piece of paper and write an ordered list of all the military ranks and keep it in the book and constantly refer back to it a la the family tree in 100 Years of Solitude. If you're not a military nerd, Corporal, Captain, Colonel, Lieutenant and Lieutenant Colonel all kind of sound the same, but some of them are really different. I wasn't too up on that shit when I read that book, but now that I've seen the last half of Band of Brothers twice and have read of most of Corelli's Mandolin, I'm a modern day Sun Tzu. I could even tell you where a Major fits in.
One time I played Lazer Quest or whatever the fuck it's called for a girl's birthday party and at the end of the game some teenaged staff member calls out every player's self-selected nickname and that player had to come up and get his/her score card. My name was "MJR DORKUS" and she cracked up when she read it and I found that gratifying because as anyone who knows me well can tell you, I am constantly either going for laughs, or sulking. Those are my only two modes. As I recall, my score in that game of Laser Tag was pretty shitty because I had been betrayed by the lady in my life at the time. She had shot me in the back after assuring me that she had it (my back). Three months later that girl found herself dee-you-emm-pee-eee-dee'd. But it was over more serious shit than being shot in the back with a laser. And for the record, my score would have sucked anyway. I've never been good at that game.
// posted by Flidge Penkings @ 12:15 PM 
